Recap:
So I met her Jan third. By feb I had fallen madly and deeply. She thought she was in love, and decided it was only emotions, not sexually attraced to me and other reasons, but she still liked me and stuff.
So in March I spend a week in DC and get to know her even better and I get to see the capital and fall in love with DC. We do EVERYTHING except penetration and it was fanfuckingtastic.
I return home my head spinning after I fell in love with the city and I am even considering moving there one day. I love the history and the veg friendliness of it and the public transportation, and ya.
Anyway… About a month ago I got an email from her stating that our current incarnation of friends with benifits or whatever is confusing ME because I am wanting more out of the relatoinship than she is wiling to give or whatever, and this is after several conversations that made sure of the clearity of the relationship. Ya sure I love her and want her and stuff, but I know she doesn’t wnat anything or whatever. So, bah. Fucking whatever. So because she thinks it is all confusing for me and she seems to think that I think we are more than we actually are then she is going to make it less than what I know it is and we are going to be just friends, no benifits, no yummy pictures or videos, and all that other good yummy stuff.
Fast forward to about a week ago. She tells me she is seeing this guy and has been seeing him for a few weeks and they are exclusive but no names or whatever. So I am feeling like I got fucked, and I instantly realise why she decides to kill the benifits portion of our relationship. It is because she is now seeing this guy and has nothing to do with me.
Lately she has been refering to him as her bf.
That hurts me even more. I know it is mostly my fault. I know that she has made the status of things very clear to me.
I fell in love with her. I fell deep, I fell hard. I thought she was the one. We have so much in common. She is one of the special ones. I want to say she is the one that got away, but I never even had her to begin with. She wasn’t sexually attracted to me. I know that is an easy thing to be, but then again she said that to me about the guy she is dating now. I guess that part cuts in deep too.
I feel so empty, so sad, so depressed, so dead.
Bah.
George W. Bush